Unpredictable.

It has been a week since school started and I'm starting to get stressed. For the past week, I still have this anxiety in me like you were still here. I can't explain it exactly but maybe I'm so anxious to know how you've been doing. I guess the only reason why i still have this anxiety is because the thought of you still lingers in my mind, like you never left. I race to french class everyday forgetting that your class is no longer next to mine, going to my locker forgetting that you're not standing right behind me waiting, or when school is over you aren't there to give me that hug of reassurance that anything is possible. To tell you the truth, I miss those things a lot but I truly miss seeing that smile of yours everyday. But what can I do? these are just the feelings that haven't left me but only reoccur to me. Ever notice that the people who hurt you the most are the ones you tend to love more? I guess this question is right. I do love you more. And the reason why i love you more when you least deserve it is because I still want you to have that reassurance that everything is going to be okay. That when you fight the world on your own, you can get up and fight life again and not give up. Now that your far far away, growing of independence, I feel so happy for you. I'll always be your motivation.