That took a lot from you to say those things to me. But I have to say thank you because you showed me that after 6 months of not communicating, you still showed me and gave me and explanation. That just comes to show that I AM worth your time and an explanation. Thank you dara for always being there for me. [Friday, July 30th, 2010.]
I'll definitely miss you.
It has been a long while since i've blogged. So many things running through my mind seriously. Take a deep breathe Vi, and its time to let it all out.
This past week leading into the long weekend, I've been thinking so much lately. Thinking deeper, more profoundly, being doubtful, and afraid. I took a trip to Ottawa this long weekend with my family to travel to my aunt's house down in Ottawa and to also visit Ottawa university. There is a good chance i will be attending there next year for university. Excited? Well... I was at first, but I'm more afraid, nervous now than excited. Yes, Ottawa university is quite beautiful, modern, gigantic, but far... very far away from home. I know i will be living at my aunt's house for the next 4 years but I'm the type of girl that always misses home. Even if its just for a few days. Come to think of it, for 4 years? missing home, missing family. My parents told me that i will get used to it, and it will pass on from time, but im kinda afraid to live out in the world on my own. New school, new friends? its like being the new girl all over again, except now EVERYONE is new. I guess i'm just gonna have to take it in and always remember to keep my head up no matter what. I think that me attending Ottawa university will be a new beginning for me. A chance for me to start over. But then again, it sounds like its an excuse for me to run away. Not literally but, running as if my heart is always running. I don't know...
Others have been pushing me lately, and i think the more they push me, the more i think i like you. I started to like you when i saw the softer side in you when you were alone with me. Just talking as friends, thinking about the past, present and the future. You're so vulnerable, and everytime you smile, you show me how courageous you are. You are strong at will and considerate, care about my feelings and what runs through my mind before thinking about yours. Our last year together in highschool... =/
All in all, I'm scared to admit that afraid and nervous about life.
Where ever you are,
What ever you’re doing,
I just hope your okay.
Because I’m stuck sitting here missing you.
The way you would make me smile when I least expect it,
The way you would be the last person to tell me good night and sweet dreams and be the first person to say good morning hun.
The way you would stay up with me all night because you don’t want to leave me alone.
The way you talk to me over the phone haha, you’re quite darn cute :)
The way you would ask me about my day,
The way you always look forward to my offline msgs when you come home from work,
The way you leave me speechless as much as I leave you speechless,
The way I miss you is inevitable,
The way you care so much about me and my constant reminder to chill once in awhile,
The way your family would ask you about me and you just smile about it,
The way you make me feel safe and well protected against all odds,
The way you tease me and take it all back the next minute,
And the way you smile just makes me fall in love all over again.
But to be honest, you are the most amazing person ever.Your sense of sincerity and warm heart towards me is indescribable.
You would rather text me back and talk to me more than talk to your friends when you chill with them,
You would rather wait until I go to sleep before you head off to bed because you don’t want to leave me alone,
You would rather cheer me up than brighten up your own,
You care for me as if I am your first priority,
You treat me so well as if we are dating when we are really not dating,
And the list goes on….
All in all, I just hope your okay Dara.
<3
it has been a long long time since i've posted something here really. posting stuff on tumblr now is becoming toooo i don't know how to say it, but pretty much everyone knows your business when you try to express yourself. At least here, i know i can be conservative and keep my feelings to myself and not the let the whole damn world know.
I kinda miss you. It has been a long while. I always seem to wonder whether or not your okay because I really worry for you. Honestly, i do miss talking to you. Nevertheless, I hope everything is okay because i miss you THAT much Dara. I really do. <3
