Saturday, May 29, 2010
It has been a long while since i've blogged. So many things running through my mind seriously. Take a deep breathe Vi, and its time to let it all out.
This past week leading into the long weekend, I've been thinking so much lately. Thinking deeper, more profoundly, being doubtful, and afraid. I took a trip to Ottawa this long weekend with my family to travel to my aunt's house down in Ottawa and to also visit Ottawa university. There is a good chance i will be attending there next year for university. Excited? Well... I was at first, but I'm more afraid, nervous now than excited. Yes, Ottawa university is quite beautiful, modern, gigantic, but far... very far away from home. I know i will be living at my aunt's house for the next 4 years but I'm the type of girl that always misses home. Even if its just for a few days. Come to think of it, for 4 years? missing home, missing family. My parents told me that i will get used to it, and it will pass on from time, but im kinda afraid to live out in the world on my own. New school, new friends? its like being the new girl all over again, except now EVERYONE is new. I guess i'm just gonna have to take it in and always remember to keep my head up no matter what. I think that me attending Ottawa university will be a new beginning for me. A chance for me to start over. But then again, it sounds like its an excuse for me to run away. Not literally but, running as if my heart is always running. I don't know...
Others have been pushing me lately, and i think the more they push me, the more i think i like you. I started to like you when i saw the softer side in you when you were alone with me. Just talking as friends, thinking about the past, present and the future. You're so vulnerable, and everytime you smile, you show me how courageous you are. You are strong at will and considerate, care about my feelings and what runs through my mind before thinking about yours. Our last year together in highschool... =/
All in all, I'm scared to admit that afraid and nervous about life.
